Tuesday, May 30, 2006

And so it begins...

I was shocked. There's no way my parents could be THAT chill with my current state of joblessness. "Relax, Jessie... Come home, hang out, go to the beach... you'll find a job." Coming from an overbearing Jewish mother, I never thought I would hear those words. So that's what I'm doing. Wake up around 11. Drink coffee, have a nosh and watch a little Food Network or perhaps What Not to Wear. When I've had enough, I drag my ass 5 minutes down the road to the gym. Gotta love the those little TVs they attach to every cardio machine. I would never make it through without those babies. So I watch a little Oprah, burn some of last nights beer calories and stare at the senior citizen who is in far better shape then me and then at the greasy Jersey-shore style Guido in the wife beater with enough hair gel to fill up my Poland Spring bottle. This is the most productive point of my day. Gotta love unemployment.
I fill the rest of afternoons plowing through that graduation money... shit. Yeah... I really needed that trip to Short Hills mall last weekend like I need a Big Mac and super-sized fries. Right. I love to rationalize my purchases. I think 'Well, hey at least i'm not a cheap jew!" But then I realize that most of the time I'm spending my parents money. WHOOPS.
Ok. Back to my daily routine. I love to spend a solid chunk of my day on Craig's List looking for jobs out in SanFran or Boston. 2-5 years experience? Uhhh.. does my 8 week internship count or perhaps the 2 weeker I did in London where I hungoverly painted a wall and organized business cards? The only shit I see on there for entry-level are egregious sounding tele-marketing jobs. Oh and if I really want I can be Assistant Manager of a Party City or a Starbucks barista! Wow... really gonna put that $120,000 degree to good use! I actually got a call about being a coffee sample girl in SanFran for $14-$18 an hour. Sadly enough, I'm contemplating it. $18 an hour to pour coffee into cups?! I wouldn't even be steaming soy milk, blending or chai-ing! I wrote in my cover letter that I'm 'Passionate' about coffee. I love telling HR people that I'm passionate. I applied to a job right after that to this earthy-crunchy store out in Berkeley and told them i'm 'Passionate' about saving the environment. HAHAH. Cut to last night. "Hey, Jess... where's your recycling bin?" My recycling WHAT?! Classic.
I gotta run. It's almost two... I bet I can find something good on those little gym TVs.