Tuesday, August 01, 2006
No, no! you're not seeing things... believe it or not... i was HIRED! hooray, wahoooo ! Luckily they didn't check MySpace and discover that photo of the thong-clad stripper (mmmm Billy the Kid) giving me a birthday hump or even my fascinating hobbies of bong smoking and binge drinking... SCORE!
For some really strange reason I was excited when the scary FAO Schwarz HR guy called me at 6pm(<--Foreshadowing!) on a Friday night and offered me a job as a merchandise analyst... my first thought after accepting was... SHOPPING! my current wardrobe is completely unacceptable for the working world, right?? besides, i'd be making sweet money soon enough so why not spend $1000 bucks on shoes, clothes and a sexy ass betsy johnson bag 2 weeks before i even start... a genius idea, really. Well, soon enough the misery commuting to nyc began, and SURPRISE... they want my entry-level, low-payed ass to stay in the office till 8 o clock at night... sorry folks, i don't DO overtime, at least not without getting paid for it... and what's the point of wearing my cute new FCUK skirts if the only ones to appreciate them are the smelly bums on the C train?! At least i got an unlimited suppy of diet coke and access to a fabulous little espresso maker.. sigh.
6 days into it, i quit. i'm such a hard worker, I know!!... but hey, at least i got paid now i have more time to.. umm.. blog? and sleep? sweet!
So yes, here I am... back to unemployment, craigslist, endless cover letters, and trying to figure out what color my parachute is...or some shit like that? It's funny because I think i'm having a case of multiple job personality disorder. i want to be something new every day! let's see.. first there was assistant buyer, marketer, PR girl but then i thought... those hours might suck too! soo then i decided maybe i'd get my teacher certification, at least they get out at 3!! then the next morning i woke up and thought i had a fantastic idea... i'd be a massage therapist!! after convincing my mom that a massage therapist doesn't NECESSARILY jerk off her clients, i decided to inquire with a school up in westfield... it actually seemed kind of cool, but then i thought about all of the hairy, fat, nasty, wrinkly backs i'd be feeling up all day and poof! that job is out...