As I slid my finger underneath the flap, I instantly knew what my envelope contained. This wasn't going to be pretty.
Senior year Ms. Mennona, who I recently found out was caught doing the nasty mc. nasterson with a female student, asked us to write letters to ourselves outlining what we hoped to accomplish in five years time. Sighhhhhhhh.
Dear Jess,
There's about 3 months till I leave for college, and i'm kind of nervous. I'm ready to leave my parents, but not my friends. Right now, I am 5'4" with highlighted hair and in really good shape. I don't think too much will change with my looks in 5 years.
(Dear Jess,
College is much fucking better then highschool. Don't worry about leaving your friends, as you will only keep in touch with about 4 of them. Your hair is now a shade of purple, with some heinous dark brown roots coming in. You've also drank enough beer to fill up a mack truck, and in return have went up about 3 pant sizes. On a positive note- your boobs are much bigger.)
Some goals that I have for the next five years are to do really well in college, try new things (maybe karate or fencing), make a lot of new friends and become somewhat career oriented. I really hope I get a great paying job my first year out of college. My dream is to own a hotel or restaurant.
(Hahahaha... seriously? In college, you achieved the title of Winstoned, due to the excessive amounts of marijuana you smoked pre-class, post-class, pre-dinner, uhh... all the time. You definitely tried some new activites, including but not limited to gravity bongs, 10-foot bongs, frequent alcohol-induced black outs and promiscuous sex. You did well in college, mainly due to the fact you majored in Retail Management, and are now an entry level media slave, earning a mere 30 grand in the most expensive city in the country. Congrats, you dumbass biatch.)
Something that I do hope to change in 5 years are some of my qualities. These include me being a little to: impatient, emotional, jealous, self-conscious, picky and critical. Hopefully i'll be working on a little self improvement.
(No such luck, friend. You are a beast when it comes to criticizing others, specifically for their uneven/bushy/rainbow/drawn-on eyebrows.)
What I like about myself? My ability to make others laugh and to be 'just one of the guys'. I hope that in 5 years from now, I am still trying to find the humor in every situation I face. I also hope that i'll still love the thrill of meeting new people and going out to have a good time.
(God, you are one cheesy ass 17 year old. Finally, an accurate prediction. Why, i LOVE going out to have a good time. Especially, when the good time includes 7 Heinekens, 5 gin and tonics, falafel sandwiches and sexual activity. Hoorah!)
What's important to me most: My parents, even though they're irritating and ask the same question 20 times in a row. I love my sisters - in 5 years, Sarah might even be married! And Emily, well she might still be with Elinor. I'm sure they will both me really successful.
(Ohhhh Ellen. She still loves to repeat herself, after all these years. And damn, i'm good. Sarah is married, Emily's still a lesbian. Successful? Errr... not so sure. But at least they now own dogs, cats and talking birds. Didn't see that coming...)
What's going on in my life right now: Senior prom is this Friday and then off to Wildwood this weekend. I'm really excited but I don't want it to be over. Graduation is so soon, and i've been so busy trying to get things done. I should be employed by Wawa by Wednesday and I need to fill out a lot of papers for Syracuse. It's kind of stressful because i'm really used to doing nothing.
(Now there's the Jess I know and love. Bitchhh, you didn't even work at Wawa though, what the hell are you talking about? You're still used to doing nothing. Look, you're blogging at work! You cringe when given any form of work assignment, and take 2 hour lunch breaks every single day! Good job!!)
Well, I guess that's all that can be said for the moment. I'm ready to face whatever the future throws at me. Cya in 5 years!
Love, Jess
(Weed, Beer, Weed, Beer, Weed, Beer, Graduation, Work, Beer Beer Beer. Oh and you're poor.)
Love, Jess
1 comment:
haha wow you were very cheesy!
which coffee did you choose? i hope not fruity dihareea
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