Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Cheesy Tots!

Tonight's first order of business: Cheesy Tots!!
The fast food gods have finally answered my prayers with these miniature nuggets of fried fatty goodness from BK! AND... they serve them for BREAKFAST!!! Oh My!

Moving on.

My blogging has been really sparse lately. Let me explain.

It's not my fault, really. I have NO internet at work! None. No gmail chat. No facebook. I can't even check my bank account or look up the nutritional info for cheesy tots! I went from web-browing-supa-star to... person who actually does work while at work! The horror!!!

I've also been experiencing a sickness which Krystal has labeled CGS.
Classic Grandma Syndrome.
It goes a little something like this.
Wake up and go to work.
Come home from work.
Cook crappy food while watching Rachael Ray's 30 minute meals.
Check email and google image pictures of puppy dogs since you have no access at work.
Friend who is much cooler then you says "hey, wanna go to a bar later and see this super hip band you've never heard of?"
Reply "Ah, no... i gotta dry my hair and I Love New York comes on in 20 minutes."

Before it's too late, someone pleeeaase come over, drag me out of bed and force me to put on a bra because it's only 6 o clock! Thank you!

In other news, I have found me an apartment for next month in ye' old town of Hoboken, NJ. That's right, back to the Jerz! The excitement!!!
Seriously though that shit is waaay cheaper and since i'm planning my budget around a wonderful wardrobe of cardigans and more cardigans it just makes SENSE!
Please be sure to visit and take me to Target and/or the mall and to the Cheesecake Factory! (MOM!!!)
Also, i will live very close to my good friend Becky and will have more time to find the Jewish man of her dreams. Which is important. And also, i'll be close to work. Sort of! And last but not least, there is a Boston Market!! Mmmmmm all that creamed spinach!

The best part about giving up my room, however was finding the ad posted for it on Craigslist over the weekend.

Please read:

$1200 Luxury Doorman Building, master bedroom available DEC 1ST (Murray Hill)

I currently live with my boyfriend. Our roommate is moving back home, and we're looking for someone to share the space with. Master bedroom of a 1 BR converted into 2 BR apartment will be yours on December 1st. High floor of luxury building in the heart of Murray Hill with a great view of the East River and the UN. My boyfriend and I will pay 2/3 of the utility bills, you will pay 1/3. Apartment has nice-sized kitchen and bathroom with a cozy living room area. Laundry available in building and dry cleaner located conveniently outside the building. A quick walk home from the Murray Hill bars and tons of great restaurants. Please email me for more information, and tell me a little bit about yourself.

Here is my version:

$1200 - Building next to a great Luxury Building. Doormen who let just about anyone in. Eat dinner in your bed in the Master Bedroom. Available 12/1

I currently live with my boyfriend. He doesn't stop talking. Ever. Our roommate is on the verge of committing suicide because of how nasty this apartment is, so we're looking to share this space because we are too cheap to find our own place. Master bedroom is great, except the floor is peeling up because the maintenance crew used the cheapest finish in the whole wide world. High floor of the shittiest building in Murray Hill, close to a really great chicken wing place but that's about it. My boyfriend and I will pay 2/3 of the utilities and you will pay 1/3. Unfortunately, we will all share 1 bathroom and if you come home drunk you might have to pee in a Duane Reade bag in your Master Bedroom. We also don't replace toilet paper. Sorry! Apartment has a nice sized kitchen, however it is very dirty. I don't take out the garbage. Neither does my boyfriend, but he likes to leave empty pizza boxes on the counter and the floor, so feel free to take those out on your way to work. Oh, and that cozy living room. Just kidding. No living room! Instead there is a giant fish tank that I don't clean, ever!! Laundry available in the building and dry cleaner next door who charges $20 to hem a pair of jeans. A quick walk home from the Murray Hill bars, but an unbearable journey down 42nd street to the only subway in the area at Grand Central Station. Hold on to your wallet!!
Please email me for more information and tell me more about yourself. BYO toilet paper.


Anonymous said...

Thats sounds like my type of apartment.

Do you think they will discriminate against a black nigga hating pimp?

Monique said...

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ok I thought my coffee in the morning was the highlight of my day ! HA i was wrong this was! love you jessy!!! (u will see this when u get home from work) lol

hannah said...

ahahahahaahahaah! genius

Anonymous said...

O and FYI Thoes BK Cheesy tots should be BK Shitty Tots cause thats what they make you do SHIT!

alexandra said...

i second hannah's response. hahahahahahahaha! genius.