Commuting for Cocktails

In college I learned that the first thing an entrepreneur needs to look for is an opportunity. However, in the land of public transportation, all of the entrepreneurs are passed the fuck out on their commute... except me! The NJ transit, my fave and yours, gets me from Old Bridge, NJ to Midtown Manhattan in about one hour... NEVER less and usually more. Any hint of inclement weather, perhaps some wind ::GASP:: or a slight drizzle and i'm impatiently sitting in the Lincoln Tunnel for an extra 20 minutes. It's mind boggling, really... and this is why i'm thinking it would be a good idea to move out pre-January. I'm sure those snow storms are a real gem for the bridge & tunnel crowd... gross!
Anyway, commuting basically takes a big, fat 2-3 hour chunk out of my day and forces me to nap, read or listen to some tunes while I try to remain unconscious for as long as possible. Cell phone usage is shunned--believe me, i've been SHHHHHHHH'd at more times then i'd like to admit! Awww... i'm sorry, Did I interrupt your 5:45PM nap? Oh, my bad! What are you, a 5 year old? My bus manners have greatly improved since, but once in a while I still get that urge to be 'really loud obnoxious cell phone girl'!
You know what? The commute really blows. I'm sick of smelly, snoring old men falling on top of me as the driver takes the sharp curve to exit the Turnpike ramp. Also, I can't stand to see people doing work on their laptops on the way home. Dude, didn't you JUST leave work? I don't know about you, but when I leave work at 5pm, my brain rejects any thought of it again until 9am the next day. Hmmm... make that 10am. I need an extra hour for granola bars, coffee and zoning out.
I propose a change! I want to revolutionize the raunchy ass commute and turn it into something to look forward to every day... So here goes!

1. Happy Hour/Meet & Greet:
I see the same faces every single day and I've MAYBE spoken to 2 people. One being this ridiculously gropey/annoying guy I knew from High School who proceeded to ask me for my number (hope he likes Dominos...) The other was a super friendly Indian man who wanted to play 20 questions...which was fine. But, let me ask you this. At what point is it acceptable to stop talking to this stranger and resume reading/napping/zoning? Do i need to ask his name? What is stranger-meeting etiquette if i'm not interested in banging him?? It's always a predicament!
Anyway, I think each bus should be fully equipped with a Stewardess... JUST KIDDING, i mean a bus attendant! With a cute little rolling booze-cart. I would love to sip on a Gin and Tonic first thing after work without having to stay late in the city! NJ transit presents... HAPPY HOUR! A buzzed commute is a happy commute, don't you agree? Fellow commuters can network, make new friends and even some potential hook-ups! Well, I might not want to partake in the hooking up considering the median male age on my bus seems to fall between 42 and 50... hmmm, although maybe I can meet a sugar daddy! Then i won't have to commute at all! "Dinner will be ready at 6:45, honey! I know how you work up a big apetite while you get wasted at Bus Happy Hour!" :)

2. Entertainment:
I'm sick and tired of seeing commuters watching movies on their portable DVD players (jealous!!) or on their tiny fucking iPod screen. (Still jealous!) I propose we get a couple of sweet ass flat screens- one for the front of the bus and one for the middle. Let's bond and watch a movie together! Just think... it'd be cute. We can all gasp simultaneously the moment Keanu and Sandra realize that they just can't slow down the bus!! And we can all giggle when Harold & Kumar can't find the White Castle... maybe we could even pass around a few blunts for that one? Okay... i may be pushing it, but you catch my drift!

3. My last idea is quite possibly the best, although it involves complete renovations and some pretty unappealing spandex-clad bodies. mmmm, love handles. FITNESS CLASS! C'mon... I mean after I get home from work and eat dinner, it's already 7:30 or 8 o' clock. My motivation dwindles and I just wanna get in my jammy jams and watch Wife Swap, Project Runway or whatever other hideous reality show is on! (By the way, did you hear The Bachelor is making a comeback??? so pumped!) SO, if i got to burn some cals on my ride home, I could spend the rest of my evening without feeling like a lazy lard-ass who is only capable of sitting at desks and on buses. Just gotta wipe out all the seats and replace 'em with mats, get a few free weights and hire a yoga instructor! Piece o' cake! Dangerous? Perhaps, but so is being fat and sedentary... so I figure what the hell...Let's give it a try!