I have a lot on my mind these days.
I recently discovered Hostess 100 calorie pack cupcakes. you know... those orgasmicly amazing cupcakes with the cream filling that splooges just a bit when you bite down? Yes, those!
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?
While i've never been a big believer in the 100 calorie pack movement that is currently sweeping the nation, i've gotta say WOW!
Each pack contains 3 mini cupcakes. The whole thing takes a little less than 30 seconds to consume, but really... truly... yummy.
My only complaint is that there's no vanilla curly-Q thing on top. Those would probably make them 112 calorie packs which would totally devalue the whole concept!!!
So, of course i had to tell my mom about them. She's all about the chips ahoy 100 cal packs which i find to be far inferior to the magicalness that is HOSTESS!!
I wonder if my company scans my e-mail account, and sometimes i wish they did.
From: Winnymom@aol.com
Subject: Hostess 100 cal packs
Jess,
I had a pack with lunch and they made me very gassy. I'm never gassy after lunch! Maybe that's why you were gassy yesterday? Actually, they have a lot of fiber for such a small portion (5 gms., I think). They are also loaded with chemicals, which probably doesn't help.
Mom
So there you have it folks. they.will.give.you.GAS
Moving on.
Has anyone besides myself bothered to read the comments posted on my past few blog entries?
I am being sexually harassed by Sol Beskowitz and A. Coven. I'm not even sure A. Coven is a man. Hmmmmmmm.
It's really not as fun as i expected, either. My clothes are still on. my hair isn't mussed up AND i'm in my cubicle!! At least if they would show up and do that sexy arm-swiping-manuever across my desk and scatter my stapler and manila envelopes onto the floor, it would be much more enjoyable. sighhhhh
So, I guess i'll address this now.
Dear Sol Beskowitz and A. Coven,
How are you? How is Israel? Is the weather nice? Did you really fly into JFK today? I really wish we could hang out, but i'm actually going to my sister's house after work to eat dinner and make out with her dog. How long are you in town? Do you like drinking and eating chinese food?
I'm not sure we would work out, what with you flying back and forth from Israel to NYC all the time. I'm needy, Sol and A. Coven. I need to hang out after work. We would have to watch American Idol together. You would have to sit and wait patiently outside the dressing rooms at J. Crew and tell me I look nice in every pair of pants I try on and then bring me home and feed me chocolate dipped marshmallows while I paint my toenails.
You would probably hate my bed, too. It has wheels that i haven't yet figured out how to remove so when we get busy you're probably going to get annoyed and just want to leave. My roommate is also really messy. There's never any room in the freezer. You have to find little spaces and physically SHOVE your eggo waffles in there. See what I mean?
In conclusion, hostess 100 calorie pack cupcakes give me gas. It runs in the family. Do you think you could still love me?
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1 comment:
Dear Jessica,
It is me Sol. Yes, Asaf did come to New York to see you. He did not have the internet to find you. He asked people in the cities if they new you. Peoples said that Jessica Winston was a common name and good luck. So he prays for good luck to meet you again. And yes, I would love to feed you foods watch tv with you and you would look beautiful in all you wear. I only comment for you because i think you are beautiful jewish girl. I can only marry jewish so i would like to marry you. A. Coven is my friend he is also interested. It is your pick for you to see who is more a man for you. We are both very wealthy, smart, and beautiful.
How can we contact you?
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