Ode to Valentine's Day

Hoorah! Yet another boyfriendless Valentine's Day for the books.
Luckily, I still have my innocence, errr... my virginity? ummm... my sobriety? My hot, perfect body?!

alright, so i have none of these items! However, I do have 5 friends with whom I will be enjoying a one night spectacular 'Black Out Valentines Day' complete with sushi rolls, shrimp tempura and all-you-can-drink wine. What kind of wine, you ask?
BOXED WINE! Most likely, Franzia or something of equal horrendous quality, but I will bask in the cheapness until I vomit.

While I haven't yet found a man to shower me with cucumber flavored body lotions, chocolate dipped strawberries or multiple orgasms, I'm still reeping many of the holiday's vast array of benefits!

1. Mom gave me a $50 Starbucks card. Free lattes for 2 weeks, maybe 2 and a half? Pure glory!

2. Aunt Mara sent me a large, overfloweth box of chocolates. They arrived on February 3rd, but please... i don't discriminate. Thanks to my period the chocolates are long gone, but my fat ass remains in tact!

3. This morning as I was leaving my apartment, a single rose stood longingly next to my welcome mat. The card read "Happy Valentines Day. -The New York Tower"
I contemplated carrying my lovely, new rose through the hail storms and into work to pretend i had a secret lover who sends single roses via messenger to my cubicle. However, I quickly realized that my gym bag, coffee thermos and umbrella would make it impossible to transport and that hail and roses just might not mix. Maybe next year!

4. I won a free pizza lunch at work today!

5. Somebody clicked for me on Jdate!

6. This list is getting DEPRESSING!

I'm off to consume pizza and count down the hours until I am inhaling wine and spicy tuna rolls.
I wish you all a HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY... and for all of you single readers be thankful that you have until next February to lose those last 16 pounds!!